Collateral Damage
by Jim Ryals
My name is Davey Blakely and I'm five years old and I live at 256 Hill Prince Road, Virginia Beach, Virginia, and today my turtle died. Actually, he might have been dead for a while because his legs were stiff and the ants were running across his eyeballs. I had owned him since June 6, my fifth birthday. Today is August 4. The first time I showed him to my mother, she said that he is an Eastern Painted Turtle and get him out of the house right now because he just peed on my carpet. I named him Speedy. He pees a lot. Almost every time I pick him up, he pees. But this time, when I pick him up he doesn't pee because he's dead.
The day I found him, me and my friends found three other turtles in the leaf pile in the back of our house next to the honey suckle vine that we like to pull the stems out of and suck on. It was really strange because Speedy and one other turtle had holes in their shells. The shells looked like some big old dog had chewed on them but the turtles had gotten away. Everyone got a turtle but none of our moms would let us keep them inside. I wanted to make sure I knew which one was mine, so I took a pair of my dad's dog tags and ran the chain through one of the bite marks on the edge of his shell. Brian Ferry, who lives at 248 Hill Prince Road, Virginia Beach, Virginia, said that we needed to tape the dog tags to his shell so that they won't clink together and give away his position. Brian's dad's a Navy SEAL and Brian knows a lot about being quiet and not giving away your position from his dad who makes him practice being quiet and not giving away his position a lot. So that's what we did with Speedy. But now Speedy doesn't need the dog tags any more.
Charlie Goodrich, who lives at 215 Hill Prince Road, Virginia Beach, Virginia, takes a look at Speedy's dog tags and says that Speedy is a Lieutenant Commander and that was the same rank as his dad. Charlie's Dad died in a plane crash while trying to land his jet on the USS Nimitz. That's an aircraft carrier. Charlie's dad's jet lost hydraulics. I'm not sure what that is, but Charlie's dad's RIO, that's the guy who flies with the pilot, told us about the accident. He has lots of marks on his hands and arms and they look like a bunch of pink and white snakes. I touched them one time and they felt like the bottom of my feet do after I've been barefoot all summer. I heard my mom say to someone on the phone that Charlie's dad's RIO, whose name is Lieutenant Clarkson and who isn't Charlie's dad's RIO anymore, wants to marry Charlie's mom. Charlie won't talk about that.
Charlie's dad was buried in Arlington National Cemetery and my mom wouldn't let me go to the funeral. Charlie did. He's 5, too, but he doesn't talk very much, especially now. He likes to line his toy soldiers up like they are at a funeral and makes them walk beside the horse and wagon set he got for his birthday. The wagon always has a dead soldier draped with an American flag. He knows a lot about funerals. So when Charlie says that Speedy needs a funeral just like his dad on account of his rank, I agree.
Charlie says that the biggest problem is that Arlington is too far away and I say that there is a cemetery in the back of my church and that my mom and I walk there for services when the weather is nice. Charlie looks at me for a minute and then nods and says that's good enough. Next we need a casket, a flag, and a horse-drawn carriage called he says is called a caisson. I sometimes attach my two dogs, Frisker and Falstaff, they're basset hounds, to the handle of my wagon and make them pull me, but only until my mom catches me and yells, and I ask if that would work. Again, Charlie nods.
Brian returns with an empty box of Twenty Mule Team Borax and I put Commander Speedy—you don't mention the Lieutenant part when you talk about a Lieutenant Commander, I don't know why, but it's true—in the box and Charlie says that it will work. Next we run into my house, leaving Speedy in the Twenty Mule Team Borax box outside. After my mom tells us to go over to Charlie's house and stay with his mom for a few minutes, and I watch her drive down the street, I take the American flag from our hall closet.
Charlie looks at my wagon and nods. Speedy is in the soap box and the soap box is in the wagon—caisson as Charlie calls it—and the soap box and the caisson are covered by our American flag. The dogs are attached to the wagon and I've also tied a leash to Falstaff so I can make sure they walk; they are both laying down right now, which is something that horses wouldn't do at a funeral, I guess, but Charlie doesn't seem to mind that. I ask if we are ready to go, but Charlie says we still need an honor guard. I say we will need shovels, too, but Charlie doesn't say nothing. He's looking at the Mathews twins, Rickie and Robbie. They don't live on Hill Prince Road. They're a year younger, so we don't play with them much, but Charlie waves at them and they come over.
Charlie tells Rickie and Robbie that they are going to be the honor guard for Commander Speedy's burial and they say that they don't have guns to do the salute. They know about funerals even though they are only 4, but their daddy is in the Navy, too.
I run to my garage and grab two shovels. I tell them that these will be their rifles as well as their shovels. Rickie and Robbie nod and each grabs a shovel. Charlie frowns but doesn't say nothing. Charlie doesn't say nothing a lot but this time it bothers me for some reason. George and his brother Jimmy, they both live at 272 Hill Prince Road, Virginia Beach, Virginia, both show up with their own shovels.
Charlie tells them to line up single file beside the caisson. Jimmy asks what's a caisson and I roll my eyes and say it's what's carrying Commander Speedy. Jimmy says, oh, the wagon, and Charlie gets a weird look and doesn't say nothing. I kick Jimmy in the shin. I tell him it's not a wagon any more it's a caisson and I pull the dogs to their feet. We start towards the church.
We stop traffic on Susquehanna Drive the way Charlie says to: by getting two members of the honor guard to stand in each lane with their hands out like policemen. A man in one of the cars takes out a camera and takes a picture as the caisson goes by and Charlie says not to smile, so we don't.
Charlie starts to mutter this isn't right as soon as we get to the graveyard. Things seem right to me. We've done everything the way he has said to do and Commander Speedy is going to be buried according to his rank like Charlie said. He tells us to stop and he walks around looking for something and I ask him what he's looking for and he says that the site should already be prepared and that it isn't and that it should be and that so many people are buried at Arlington that they only have a limited time for services and that if the site isn't already prepared we won't have time for a proper funeral. He says the gravesite should already have been prepared to receive the casket for burial and that this isn't right this isn't right.
I tell him that this isn't Arlington and that as far as I know no one else is being buried today and that we can do the services ourselves but he keeps going on muttering that this isn't right this isn't right this isn't right and then he screams.
Reverend Fowler comes running out of the rectory with my mom. Charlie screams over and over that this isn't right, this isn't right and I feel really bad because I've done everything that Charlie said to do, well, except for the dogs lying down whenever they stopped walking and horses don't drool like basset hounds, at least as far as I know. My dad says Frisker and Falstaff can fling drool ten feet when they shake their heads real hard. My mom runs back into the rectory. Reverend Fowler runs up to Charlie and picks him up, holding him in a hug, "What isn't right, Charlie?"
I can see Charlie's face over Reverend Fowler's shoulder and he's crying and Reverend Fowler’s black shirt is getting wet and shiny. Charlie says that nothing's right. He screams that he wants his daddy back but he's dead. He says that he likes Lieutenant Clarkson but he's not his daddy and that he doesn't want a new daddy. He wants his old daddy back but he's never coming back. Never. He says he doesn't want it to hurt any more. He says he wants it like it used to be. He says this isn't right, this isn't right.
I feel bad, we've done everything Charlie said. I'm not sure what to do, so I just stand there and watch Charlie and Reverend Fowler. After a few more minutes of Charlie crying and saying this isn't right this isn't right this isn't right, Charlie's mom runs up from the parking lot and Reverend Fowler passes Charlie to his mom. Charlie's mom says thank you without any sound. She walks with Charlie to the parking lot. I turn and my mom is standing there with her arms crossed in front of her. Her lips are quivering and I know that I'm in a lot of trouble.
"Davey, you take these dogs and you go to the car right now. You are in serious trouble young man. You know you're not allowed to cross Susquehanna Drive without an adult. And I'll bet you didn't even look both ways before crossing that street. Take the dogs to the car and wait for me." Her eyes look mean. She looks at the other kids. "And the rest of you, go sit in the Rectory. I'm going to call your mothers so they can come and get you." She fumbles in her purse and finds her cigarettes and lights one. Her hands are trembling and I'm starting to get really scared.
Reverend Fowler sits down on the grass and looks at me. "What were you guys up to?"
I tell him about Speedy and that he was a Lieutenant Commander in the United States Navy and that Charlie knows all about military funerals and we are going to give Speedy a funeral fit for his rank.
"Speedy's a. . .?"
I tell him that Speedy was an Eastern Painted Turtle and I look up at my mom, whose lips are still quivering, and I feel my eyeballs getting big and wet.
"Davey, you do what your mother says. I'll take Speedy and if it's okay with your mom, you can come back this afternoon for the services." He looks up at Mom. "That okay?"
Mom nods yes.
"Okay, boys. Davey to the car with the dogs. I'll make sure your wagon is safe. I'll take care of Speedy. The rest of you, to the rectory. I'll bet Mrs. Fitzmaurice can find some cookies for you while you wait."
I wait, wondering if I'm going to get cookies, too, but my mom stares at me and points at the parking lot. I untie the dogs from the wagon and take them to the car and put them in, making sure that all the windows are down just like Dad told me to do. It's a lot of work, since I need to open up each door and roll down the window and make sure that Frisker and Falstaff are not jumping out at the same time. Then I remember the flag. I run out of the parking lot and I see that Mom is talking to Reverend Fowler. The flag is still there, but she hasn't noticed it. She still looks really mad and she's taking quick puffs on her cigarette so that her head looks like it's in a cloud.
"Do you understand just a little bit, now?" she asks him. Her voice has the same tone as when my Frisbee flew into her wine glass and spilled red wine on Grandma Blakely's oriental rug. I grab the flag and run to the car. While I'm waiting for my mom, I fold the flag just like my dad taught me, even though it's hard to do without a second person to help.
Me and my mom return later in the afternoon. Mom has made me put on a coat, "you wanted a funeral, you're going to dress up for one," and I'm hot and sweaty. Rickie and Robbie and George and Jimmy show up with their moms but they are in shorts. Next to the rectory, across from the graveyard, Reverend Fowler has dug a hole between two rose bushes. Speedy liked to hide in bushes so when he asks me if that's okay, I nod. I ask where's Charlie, and my mom tells me that Charlie isn't feeling well and won't be coming. Reverend Fowler says that he's going to make a wooden headstone for the grave and that Charlie can come when he sets it up. And then he starts to speak like it's a real funeral. Since my mom sent me to my room when we got home and told me to think long and hard about all the rules I've broke over a stupid turtle, I think, "it's just a turtle," but I don't say nothing.
Reverend Fowler reads from the Bible, from Isaiah, the part about the cow and the bear feeding together and the lion eating straw like the ox, which I think is weird and wouldn't ever happen, even though it's in the Bible. And then he reads from Revelations, the part about God wiping away tears from peoples' eyes and there being no more death. Afterwards, Reverend Fowler looks at Mom and then asks me to pull my wagon over and put Speedy, who's still in the Twenty Mule Team Borax box, and who's still dead, into the grave. Mom made me leave the flag at home. Reverend Fowler takes a shovel and puts dirt on top of the box until the hole is full and there's a mound of dirt on top. Then he says that there's cookies and Kool-Aid in the Rectory. We all race towards the cool and dark of the Rectory kitchen to see who's going to get the first cookies and, even though I'm wearing my clunky Sunday shoes, I win.
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